Heaven

I was broken. Blemished. A wreck. Lost.
Despite it, you saw me and said, "I must have her."
You aggressively pursued me.
You beckoned my heart heavily with love.
I faced you and looked into your eyes.
Acceptance. Purity. Holiness.
I ran to your embrace and there I've stayed.
So much joy. Peace. Security.

Yet, I've never been ready.
"Not until I meet him."
"Not until I become a mom."
"Not until I've completed what I've desired here on earth."
But something changed.
Sitting on the log staring at the moon, something changed.

Never have I felt you so close.
Never has your presence seemed so tangibly in reach.
Though the spiritual veil has been broken, the physical one remains.
I thought I was feeling sadness after a weekend of joy, but now I know.
What I feel is a longing for you.
I long to feel the warmth of your actual embrace.
I long to see that smile face to face.
I long for eternity with you.
Never before have I longed for heaven until now.