Simple Delight

 

I love being an aunty. It's the closest thing to motherhood for me. Although I did not carry them in my womb, they are my blood. There is a connection that comes through the similar DNA we both have running through our bodies. Through that DNA, there are personality traits that are common. There are visible similarities such as curly hair and dimples. I have seen them from inside their mommy's tummy all the way to prom and graduation, and beyond. 

This morning I asked God to show much a new view of the depth of His love for me. He brought me to Timmy, Erika, Sarah, Maya, Mikey, and Lexi; my nephews and nieces. He took me through memories of them that I've had. 

I remember Timmy when he was no more than 5 or 6. He had headphones on and was singing from the top of his lungs a song from the Lion King. He didn't know we were listening. He just sang his little heart out. We watched on with huge smiles. It brought us joy watching him in that moment. 

Erika had the greatest curly hair when she was little. She'd wake up from a nap with a huge smile. She'd look at us upon, waking with those huge dimples and big curls stuck on her face. Smiles would cross our faces seeing that look on her face. 

Sarah from little would hang out with me. I remember the first time she spent the night with me. I was in my early 20's. She finally fell asleep with her bottle. In the dark, I laid next to her just watching her sleep, rubbing her cheek tenderly. I was in love. 

Maya and Mikey have lived most of their life away from me. Though distance separates us, I love seeing them. Every time I see Maya, she gets more and more beautiful. Those greens eyes of hers are stunning. Mikey...I'm amazed at how much he's grown and how much he changes. 

Lexi recently had a trip to Disneyland where she was finally aware of everything around her. I didn't get to go on this visit, but I couldn't wait to talk to her about it. I remember sitting her on my lap facing me. I asked her who she saw at Disneyland. She went down the line naming characters. "Princess....Bye Bye!" She said while waving her hand. Her face was beaming as she told me, and it tickled me to say the least.

As I went through these memories, God told me how much He delights in us. Just seeing us go through life, seeing our smiles, hearing our songs, seeing us develop, watching us sleep, hearing our stories... He delights in all of those things. He is tickled by us. A smile comes across His face when He thinks of us, his blood. 

We often think that we have to perform to get His attention. We think we have to do these works to win His approval. We have to remember that first and foremost, we were created to be the object of His affection. And that we are... the object of the creator's affection. He loves you. He delights in you. He has loved you with an everlasting love.

Rest today. Stop striving to earn His love. He delights in you. He loves you. Nothing you do could ever change that.

The Power Washer

This morning, I was laying on the floor during my morning prayer and devotional time when a loud noise started up outside. The apartment manager was outside with a power washer cleaning down the building. The noise was quite loud as the water crashed into windows, doors, and walls. It got louder as they got closer to my apartment.

Upon hearing the engine of the washer start up, my younger cat Charlie (Chaplin) ran under the couch with his tail between his legs. He remained crouched down low, with eyes open wide. He was visibly upset, and I started to feel sorry for the little guy. I called his name. He looked over at me, but the power washer immediately took over his focus. "Charlie! C'mon! It's okay!" I said again, and he finally ran to me. I stroked his little head, and he began to purr.

The power washer then made it to my apartment windows and door. Charlie in that moment decided that being with me was not safe enough for him and back under the couch he went. A few minutes later the washer stopped completely. His guard went down, and he came out from his hiding place. I picked up him and the purring commenced. He closed his eyes and was totally relaxed...until... yup the power washer went back on, and he scurried on again.

I laughed and went back to my devotional, and then God spoke...

"My children are often like Charlie. Life has many noises. Many are loud! But through them, I will wash you clean. Yet you scurry away terrified. I call to you, but the noises have your focus. For a second you come to me, only to feel exposed and not protected. You then scurry back where fear makes you feel more safe."

It made sense. Charlie had no clue what a power washer was. He interpreted it as one thing. I could see if for what it was; a device to cleanse. It's the same way with God. He knows what the "noise" really is. We see it as this loud, scary thing. He sees the bigger picture, but fear paralyzes us. 

I know it may not seem like a deep message, but I think it was more of a reminder. God wants us to stop being a scary cat! Next time you hear that big noise in life, it's ok. It's just God's power washer doing His thing! :) 

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion  blot out my transgressions.Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin." Psalm 51:1-2

Destined to Be A Princess

I am a princess. The name Stephanie means "Crowned One" and I love the color purple. I was destined for royalty. And if that is not enough proof, ask anyone that has known me since I was little. I am a daddy's girl. I am daddy's princess. 

Growing up, I was more than blessed to have the dad that I have.  When I was a little girl, I'd jump in bed with my mom and dad. My dad would take me and wrap his arms and legs around me while I talked with my mom. I remember so clear the warmth and security I felt in that moment. You would find me later on the couch with my dad. He would be watching t.v., and I would lay my head down on his pansa (stomach) and listen to his heart beat. When I got sick in the middle of the night, I'd get out of bed, tip-toe into my parent's room. I'd go to my dad's side of the bed and shake him awake. "Dad, I have a tummy ache. Can you pray for me?" I remember crying as he laid hands on me and prayed. If you ask my siblings and other family members, THEY would say that I could do no wrong in my dad's eyes. He balanced that love with discipline though. I knew not to cross him. He would look at me with disapproving eyes, and I'd be in tears immediately because I hated disappointing him. 

As an adult, his role didn't change. He encouraged me in my pursuit to be an educator. There have been many times that financial crisis has struck, and I've had to borrow money from him with full intention of paying it back. My dad almost never let me pay it back. When my marriage fell apart, my dad was the first person to tell me how beautiful, intelligent, how pure my heart was, and how much I had to offer. 

Although my dad has not always been perfect in my eyes, he laid a foundation for me that I am so thankful for. You see, parents play such a role in getting their children ready to know the Heavenly Father personally. If you had an abusive dad and God tries to discipline you, you flinch. If you had a dad that did not show love and then you hear that the Heavenly Father loves you, it's hard believe it. 

When I decided a couple of years ago to really know God personally, it was relatively easy. My dad did such a great job already to show me what God is truly about. Our Heavenly Father loves us so incredibly much. He desires to wrap His arms around you and let His love penetrate your being. He desires for you to come to Him and confess your sins, and then in His eyes, you did no wrong. He wants to freely give to you so that you may not live in want. When you're in pain, He wants you at any hour to come to Him. He wants to spend time with you so that you may hear His heart beat. Who wouldn't want that? Well maybe someone that doesn't want the other part. He will discipline you to make you better. You will feel convicted when you do something that you know He disapproves of. I'd gladly take that knowing that the creator of the universe thinks I'm His princess.

God's princess. We are his heirs. We get the inheritance He leaves. We are royalty. We are the apple of His eye. It makes me smile to think about it.

If you had a father that was not like mine, and you struggle to see God as I portrayed, I invite you to go to him. Tell Him about how your dad was. Tell Him the stories. Tell Him your hurts and pains. I promise you that He will mend them so that you can have a healthy view of who He is so you can receive all He desires to pour out to you. 

If you know our Heavenly Father, have you forgotten that you are His princess? When was the last time you listened to His heart beat and found peace? Are you going to Him with your tears? Are you allowing Him to encourage you and build you up? Do you feel secure in Him? Are you claiming your inheritance and promises that He has given you?

I encourage you, sweet ladies, to look in the mirror and see that you were destined, before you were even born, to be God's princess.